quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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