well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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