i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
