This is not my ceiling
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
