Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
