'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize