How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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