She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
