If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
