he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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