Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
