i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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