I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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