You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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