I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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