Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
