You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
