I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
