from now on my penis is your penis
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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