Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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