he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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