I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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