Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
