You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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