my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she peed on how many people?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
