Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
