I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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