I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
