The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
