Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
