What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
