i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize