I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
