Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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