i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
