when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
