god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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