I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
