Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
