THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish you could order shots online.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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