i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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