Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
