you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You may now shotgun with the bride
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
