Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
