Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
