We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
