is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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