Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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