Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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