I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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