i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
