I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We're facebook friends in real life
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
