I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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