Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
