i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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