i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
