Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
