Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
