Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
