love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
