"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
