Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
