i don't like sucking hair
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
